Paying Respect

This morning, the agenda for the day was to visit my maternal grandmother's gravesite and pay respect to the elders. This is done commonly at New Years, Korean Thanksgiving, or the anniversary of the death. I hadn't been here since my grandmother's funeral in 2000 and I thought it was important to pay my respects, especially as I was starting a new journey and career this year. My grandmother was incredibly kind and my memories of Korea are filled with her laughter and escorting her to 6 am masses (very easy when you're jet-lagged).

I had remembered visiting the gravesite during my childhood when we visited my grandfather who passed in 1981. Our family owns land where we can provide traditional burial sites for our family. I had remembered this being hours away, long car rides in traffic, and having to get out and push the minivans alongside my cousins when they got stuck in the mud and unpaved roads. But due to recent developments and highways, it only took about 30 minutes and was a much easier drive. 

We brought Taesoon's (태순) son, Yoon-sik (윤식) who was dressed with a little pizazz and had fun running around:

First, we visited the gravesite of my great grandparents:

We also visited my great uncle and his wife:

And most importantly, my grandfather and grandmother:

My cousin Tae-su (태수) joined us as well with his son Jae-sik (재식) who were pros on the ceremonial setup and processes (here's a link to explain more about Korean ancestral worship: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesa). This included for us taking turns at 2 full bows, then a half bow, lighting incense, and offerings of rice wine as pictured below. Since we're also Catholic, we prayed the Our Father as well as the Hail Mary. 

Also, here's a picture collage of my grandparents' tombstone - you can see that all the relatives' and descendants' Chinese names are included. Indeed, I said Chinese and not Korean as most names have Chinese roots or origins. I often explain Chinese as the "Latin of Asia" where the erudite and elite could read and write Chinese until the Korean alphabet was created (for more history: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanja) 

Side note: Of my generation, my name is the only one missing as I was not yet born when my grandfather had passed in 1981 - I was in utero and missed meeting him by about 5 months. 

Afterwards, we had lunched at my 4th uncle's house where my 4th aunt prepared Korean BBQ. It was indeed a treat as she is known for being one of the best cooks in the family. 

I had planned Sunday to not only visit the ancestral gravesites, but also to see my 2nd uncle. He has been suffering from MDS also known as Myelodysplastic syndrome (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myelodysplastic_syndrome) for the past several years. Considered by most as one of the most generous and kindest of our family members, it has created a lot of heartache in our family as he has been like a father to many, including my mother (they are about 10 years apart). It was refreshing and surprising to hear him say, "the American has arrived" when he saw me! That was his usual greeting every summer and it brought a huge smile to my face as it felt like he was his old self. 

Another surprise was my 3rd uncle and aunt who came to visit, along with several cousins. Considering there isn't a place big enough for all of us to gather, many of my relatives have been conferring my whereabouts through conversations and texts! Again, I'm touched by everyone's efforts during their busy schedules!

For dinner, we ordered and all ate Chinese food pictured below. It always amazes me that in Korea, takeout is delivered in plastic dishes where the delivery guy will return to pick them up after you've eaten - very environmentally conscious and economical. 

We all enjoyed each other's company by FaceTiming with my mom and playing with the little kids. My cousin, Taesoon (태순) who had been my weekend host returned home to Bundang (분당) and I now transferred to my Seoul hosts. I'll definitely miss his family's hospitality and this little guy who is quick and well trained by my cousin. If you can understand Korean, it's pretty impressive at the age of 2 his speaking abilities. 

Translation:

Me: Who am I? 

Response: Aunt

Me: Where am I from? 

Response: America

Me: How do you greet someone like me? 

Response: "Hi"

For the rest of the week, I'm being hosted in Seoul by my cousin Junghae's (정혜) family. She and I are only 6 months apart and are extremely close. Since we spent so much time together as kids, she always joked she could read my mind when I couldn't explain something in Korean. We stayed up for hours catching up and chatting about the family. I can't believe she now has 2 kids! To celebrate the fact we're old, here's a picture of me with her adorable and energetic 2 year old son, Ewan (이완):