Traditionally, we bring offerings of food, liquor, and burn incense after we do 2 full bows and then a half bow. We also take turns as part of generations - my mom's, my cousins and I, and then the generation after us. Here are some offerings:
A few folks represent the generation and light the incense and make the offerings. As I was here from America, I got to do it with my cousin Tae-su (태수) who is a pro at this, leading me through the various steps with my cousins standing behind me:
Then for the generation after me, my cousins' children, those who are headed off to compulsory military service or just got into college got this honor:
We used to all meet at my uncle's house and pay our respects to each other, but since the family has grown so large, we do it at the gravesite. But the fun part for the kids, is they receive New Years money. So to accommodate, we do it all at the gravesite and line up in age order. So anyone who's old enough to earn a salary, has to give to the younger kids. This was my very first time getting to do this as I haven't been in Korea to celebrate New Years since 1999 turned 2000 (I was here for Y2K). That time I was at a receiving age since I was still in college.
Yesterday I made sure to stop by the Citibank. My cousins warned me not to give too much or they'll have to give too much - haha. Also some nephews and nieces who might go to their other side of the family came to make sure to say hi to me. So some of my cousins were surprised and realized they had to pony up more to give to the unexpected kids. In general, there is an agreed amount, but since I'm not here often, and I wanted my nephews and nieces to think they have a cool American aunt, I was a bit generous. I also gave more to those recently accepted into college, passed major tests, or were going to military service.
I enjoyed this too when I was in Korea during the winter - my brother would exclaim he couldn’t fold his wallet! And typically, my brother and I got special envelopes as we would be visiting which was always nice. Some aunts and uncles would even prepare US dollars to accommodate us - they were always so thoughtful. Everyone lines up in age order and goes down the receiving line which also stands in age order - I stood at the very end being the youngest. Look at those smiles!
Here are some candids and photos from the day:
Afterwards, we all split up and headed to our separate households. I went to my 4th uncle's house and everyone changed into traditional Korean clothes. The kids looked so adorable and started playing:
We bowed to my aunt and uncle - here are my cousins and their wives bowing:
And then the kids bowed:
As I was the youngest, I received bows last from the kids - made me feel old, but I enjoyed the experience!
Traditionally, you eat rice cake soup on New Year’s Day. My aunt and my cousins' wives prepared a delicious lunch and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Here’s a photo along with a view of the kids' table:
Conveniently, my dad's sister was going to be nearby at the cemetery for my dad's parents. I didn't know this was so close as my dad's side also had a similar family gravesite, but had recently cremated the remains and moved to a cemetery.
My aunt was bringing my cousin's kids - and another cousin heard I was here, so he came with his daughter. As such, Taesoon (태순) was kind enough to help with a rendezvous and we were able to transfer me to my dad's side for the afternoon. I got to pay my respects on New Year’s Day to both sides of my family! I am so grateful that my cousin, Taesoon (태순) was such a convivial host and super accommodating and flexible with the craziness of coordinating my visits with my various family members.
Here’s a collage of my visit to the gravesite of my great grandparents, grandparents, and my dad's eldest brother:
They were then driving to Seoul proper and dropped me off at my cousin, Sang-nim's (상님) apartment. Sang-nim (상님) is the daughter of my mom's second brother and I spent a lot of time with her and her family when they visited New York. We went out to dinner for some pork bbq and cold noodles called naeng myun - my mom's side of the family specifically loves these dishes!
Back at Sang-nim's (상님) apartment, we chatted and even my cousin, Taelim (태림) called to wish us a happy new year - it was fun to catch up with him as he not only has a great laugh, but he is an avid blog fan! Also, at my cousin's apartment, they conveniently have a half dry sauna which people take turns sitting in - here’s a shot of me in it:
What a day of traditions and I was glad to visit both sides of the family and pay my respects. It’s not always easy trying to see everyone and spend quality time. But today was special as I enjoyed being able to receive bows and hand out money. I definitely remarked a few times that my cousins and I are middle-aged as I barrel down 40! However, I did, deep down underneath, enjoy being able to give out money like I used to receive. I always think about it as paying it forward. I have learned to really appreciate what my family had done for me when I was growing up and learned it’s not always as easy as it seems. That’s why these traditions are so special when I get to participate and be with my considerate and wonderful family!
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